May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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