I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
