If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
