lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
