His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
