Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
