Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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