I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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