Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
