Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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