her vagine was all disorganized.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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