i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
