"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
