I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize