K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
