I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
