I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
