Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
