no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
