I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
