You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize