garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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