I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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