Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
