The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
