Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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