I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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