Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
