i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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