you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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