A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
