Cold hands, warm shart.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
