wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
