Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
