At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
