one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
