You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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