70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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