Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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