You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
