i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
