He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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