____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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