somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize