...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
