birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
