I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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