mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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