fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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