I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
