i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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