Im at strip club and am horny
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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