just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
