Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
