plz talk dirty to me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
