ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fuck appropriateness.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
