My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently you make a good broom.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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