i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
