I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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