Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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